Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why does my dog keep licking at her privates now? She is 7 years old and has barely started licking there. The vet said she’s fine but she keeps doing that.

I actually pay taxes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I see through liars

Why does Boko Haram attack its own Muslims?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand how hurricane paths work

What happens to single guys when they get older?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Have you ever been forced into bestiality?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What are the basic human needs according to psychology? What are the consequences of not meeting these needs?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

If you believe in God, do you think God can save you from cancer?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have a reading level above third grade

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

At what point did you realize it was the right time to leave your job?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can count

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Are the seasons in Ireland different from those in Scotland, England, and Wales? Or are they just milder versions of each other?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I can read

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I am so tired of ignorant people like you calling us far rights, why democrats is so educated, they take things from their own mouth, you guys are totalitarian party?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What would you do if you were lost at sea in the Florida Keys?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight